Laura's Blog

When Transgender Doctor's don't follow the Rules

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 20:39:54 GMT

Recently a panel of Psychiatrists at Charing Cross Gender Identity Clinic in the UK has cited one of their own, Dr. Russell Reid for breaking the rules (Standards of Care) in approving hormones and surgery for patients that were not ready. They accuse him of not following guidlines, waiting periods and screening patients for other mental illnesses. A Pedophile was accpeted as a candidate as well as a FTM patient who first thought she was transsexual from a local Television documentary on the subject. Other patients of his wanted to reverse their gender change therapies. He also told one patient that if she wanted to afford surgery that she should become a Transsexual Prostitute.

Being a Transgendered person is very complex and often confusing. Figuring out what genere you fit into should only be done by a competent Gender Psychologist. Dr Harry Benjamin and a committee of his peers came up with The HBIGDA Standards of Care for transsexuals. The aim was to assure that only those psychologically healthy would receive treatment and undergo hormone therapy and surgery to permanently change their gender. While it certainly was a good way to avoid a medical mistake it also excluded those who were also troubled by their Dysphoria but not diagnosed as Transsexual from any Psychological treatment at all.

Some who feel they are Transsexuals complain that The Standards of Care are too strict. This is because no alternatives or treatment is offered to them or to Transgenderists who should never obtain genital surgery. Fortunately Transgenderists are now provided for with hormones and cross living but not genital surgery in changes to the standards.

Certainly we should all be able to depend on our mental health professionals to keep us from harm. Therapists are suppossed to screen us for mental illness. AFter all we have a 31% suicide rate before surgery. Illnesses are no longer a problem if they are medically controlled as with some pschiatric medicines. Once that happens the therapist goes to work and starts to allieve any confusion, myths and underlying motivations by the patent. As the patient jumps through the hoops they explain permenance of the surgery as well as one very important fact. 30% of post-op Male to Female Transsexuals are not orgasmic. For a patient whose motivations for surgery are purely sexual the absense of satisfaction could lead to suicide.

Those Transsexuals who were properly screened will find their risk of post-op suicide much lower, in line with the rest of the population. Those who weren't will be unhappy and their risk will soar.

Doctor Reid is unfortunately not alone in his disregard of the rules. Recent polls are proving that. The post-op dissatisfaction rate has been increasing. Where the suicide rate was 5% after surgery it is now 11% and rising. The reason could be either from relaxing Standards, not explaining the 30% of non-orgasmic Ts's, or a simple matter of patients lying to their therapists. The increased levels in dissatisfaction need to be more closely examined by the Professionals who treat us. If not the time may come when the cure is worse than the malady.

Laura Amato

Transgendered Day of Rememberance: Do the Math

Mon, 21 Nov 2005 01:10:45 GMT

Transgendered Day of Rememberance: Do the Math

by Laura Amato

Every year Transgendered people all over the world honor our dead on November 20th. This Day of Remembrance was founded by Gwendylon Ann Smith, a Transsexual who was outraged over the violent deaths of Transgender persons. The Observance is now honored world wide. Over 250 somber ceremonies will be held in 2005. Others like us will observe moments of silence to Remember our Dead. Already in November 2005 their have been 12 hate related deaths.

Transsexuals are a rare breed in our society it affects only 1 in 300,000 . Why then is our death by violence and our suicide rate so high? There are only a miliion or so of us. We're a drop in the bucket of the world population. Yet so many of our brothers and sisters won't make it til Christmas. Being born Transsexual is not our fault yet there's probably not one of us that can't relate a story of hate to us or someone we know. That's because the world sees us as choosing this lifestyle much like our Gay and Lesbian brothers and sisters. It doesn't take a smart person to know that no one would make this choice. We know what's going to happen to us.

Would you kill a person born with Down's Syndrome or laugh at someone who is crippled from birth? No, of course not. Yet daily People born Transgendered face a life of secrets, shame and fear. Unable to really be ourselves we often turn to suicide. It would be very difficult to find one of us who Hasn't at least thought of suicide, if not actually attempting it. Estimates have put our suicide rate from 31% to 50% or 9 times the average rate. We're not nuts, just different.

Being Transsexual is a treatable medical condition. The aim is to make the body and mind the same gender. Surely we're all entitled to that. Yet getting identification is difficult, or jobs or even going to the bathroom is a maze that even Magellan couldn't navigate. If you can't pass as your new gender you are subject to ridicule, violence and even death. Post ops who marry can be left out of wills legally in many places as well as denied basic marital rights. While many have the right to the pursuit of happiness Gays and Transgendered are denied this basic human right. The violence and humiliation we suffer can even be inflicted by the police as well as the rest of the population.

Either we can stand quietly by the sidelines as we watch our brethern get picked off one by one or we can get angry and stand and fight. After all we have nothing to be ashamed off. Did you realize that in the United States the FBI doesn't even count Transgendered violent deaths. We aren't even a blip on the radar screen of justice.

People have vowed to fix Society since the dawn of time. It hasn't happened and never will. The world won't respect us until we respect oursleves. Be proud of who and what you are. Forget the religions of hate and the slurs they heap on you. Stand up for yourself and be yourself. To be Transsexual is to realize that you do have strength to endure and overcome. If it is the strong that survive then we have to show our will will not be broken. Stand up to your friends, Stand up to your family, Stand up to your religion, Stand up to the world and most of all stand up for yourself. We are United and much stronger than we think.

"In September the House of Representatives passed for the first time ever a bill that would give local law enforcement vital tools to fight bias crimes against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Americans". Meanwhile in the Senate they are determined to exclude the Transgendered. Our numbers may be small and all our voices may raise is a squeak. Its still far better than suffering in silence. If you do the math discrimination of the Transgendered just doesn't add up yet it continues to happen.
/P>

Transgender Day Of Remembrance

Genetic Redemption

Sexuality is Genetic

Study: Homophobia hard wired by evolution

A Sex Difference in the Human Brain and its Relation to Transsexuality

Tramssexual Teens a Real Life Horror Movie

Discuss this article in the forums

Transsexual suffered Entire Life

Thu, 08 Sep 2005 00:35:25 GMT

There is an interesting article about a 73 year old Transsexual that has created quite a stir in New Zealand. In NZ they have a public health care system that does not seem to be held in high esteem by the public. Out of all the Transsexuals seeking Sex reassignment Surgery (SRS) only three per year are allowed to have surgery in their own country. That hardly seems excessive.

"73 year old transsexual Vicki Harvey has lashed out at the public after being denied her sex change surgery, blaming �bigoted correspondents� to the Taranaki Daily News using her case as a �political weapon�.
If approved as a suitable candidate for sex change surgery, her $30,000 operation would have been funded by the public health system. After assessment, she has been declined public funded surgery".

The surgery provoked a public outcry against it stating that its unfair to allow such an expense because other people have to wait for the simplest surgeries. It almost seems that people are objecting to her getting help before they do. One thing they haven't considered is that Vicki has waited in line for 73 years. I'd say she deserves to go to the head of the line.

Ever noticed how the media seems to pay special attention to Transsexuals, Gays and Lesbians in the news. Many of these stories would never see print if the subjects were White Anglo Saxon Portestant Straight people (WASPS). The press loves labels. Whenever it gets to point the nodding finger and yell Transsexual or Gay it does so knowing that the public will be outraged. It SELLS newspapers. If Vicki were simply a woman who needed a $30,000 operation noone would even be reporting it. Finger wagging! Maybe someone should just cut it off.

http://www.gaynz.com/news/default.asp?dismode=article&artid=2769

Laura

Warning against Silicone Injections

Fri, 24 Jun 2005 02:44:27 GMT

As Male to female Transgendered Folk We don't just want our minds and hearts to be female, we want the physical package too, right down to that cute little giggle. How far are we willing to go to get it? Well after events this week I'd say dangerously far. http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/4640939/detail.html?rss=dgo&psp=news

I first heard about Silicone injections twenty years ago. It was all the rage among Brazilian Transsexuals. It was just as lethal back then as it is now. That's right people can die from this stuff. The same thing happened not two months ago in Florida. It happens several times a year. So why don't people pay attention to the warnings?

If it works the results can be wonderful for a while. Imagine having every curve a woman has. A few injections later and you can have a body to die for, quite literally. Depite the warnings people think just any old Silicone will do, even Industrial grade. The problem is many are fooled into thinking that they are getting medical grade silicone.

Lets face it having that drop dead gorgous body isn't worth it if you're too dead to enjoy it. It can also cause coma's, extreme pain, disfigurement and yes even Organ damage. In addition all that silicone may not stay where its put for long anyway.

Will this warning fall on deaf ears as well? Much as we'd like to believe That a fairy godmother with a needle-like wand is going to make us Poof into a gorgous woman reality is very different. Please, Please. if you're going to have injections of a foreign substance into your body please have it done under medical supervision. You have been warned. Yet in another two or three months we'll hear about more deaths. Why don't we ever learn.

Laura

Its Official Transsexuality and Homsexuality is not a Choice

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 01:50:13 GMT

Its Official Transsexuality and Homsexuality is not a Choice

Transsexuality and Homosexuality is there a choice? One of the biggest reasons people hate us is because they believe that we have a choice. They say we choose the behaviour. Indeed the Religous Right and even President Bush and Pope Benedict openly condem our right to marry among other things.

What however if they are wrong. What if its not a behavioural choice but is something Genetic that we are born with. Would the hatred stop? Would people change their minds? Would they stop condemning us. Its not likely. Its ironic that a religion based on love is so full of hate.

Within the last two weeks two new studies involving Homosexuals and Transsexuals have been released. You'll notice that the even the press barely mentions it except for our own GLBT Press. Why is that? People love to hate. If they couldn't hate they might have to actually get along with us and grant us the rights we should ALL have as Human beings.

..... But wait A new study also shows that people are born with Homophobia. Again you'll notice that the main press has released NOTHING about any of these studies. Hmm could even the press be prejudiced. Its an Interesting question.

http://uk.gay.com/headlines/8678
http://www.pridesource.com/article.shtml?article=14518
http://uk.gay.com/headlines/8588

So what do YOU think?

Laura

Gays support Transgendered in Federal Hate Crimes Bill

Mon, 30 May 2005 00:05:47 GMT

Finally some good news for transgendered folk. A Federal Bill making it a crime to harrass, discriminate, injure or kill a gay,lesbian or transgendered person. While its not a done deal in being passed it soes have a good chance of passing in the House of Representatives. A hate crime carries a more severe penalty than a regular non hate crime.

It was just a few months ago that gay organizations vowed public support for transgendered people for the first time in the political arena. Few believed it would actually happen though. Even Congressmen warned gay organizations not to include us as it would have little chance of passing.

"Statement by Matt Foreman, Executive Director of theNational Gay and Lesbian Task Force
"This is truly a historic moment - the introduction of the first major piece of federal legislation that explicitly seeks to protect transgender people. We have worked for many years to see this day and we thank the bill's Democratic and Republican sponsors, led by Barney Frank, for making it a reality. We look forward to working with them and our friends, allies and heroes in the transgender community to push this bill forward.
Given the pervasive nature of hate violence against transgender people, any hate crimes bill that fails to specifically include transgender people would be deeply flawed, both morally and from a law enforcement perspective. We hope the Senate will now update its bill with the new House language so that we can support it as well."

What's changed: "A 1997 survey conducted by GenderPAC found that 59 percent of transgender people reported being the victim of harassment or violence. According to the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs 11 percent of the 2,384 victims of anti-lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender hate crimes recorded in 2003 identified as transgender".

So it finally clear that both gay and transgendered share a common pain as well as large lists of member victims. http://gender.org/remember/about/core.html

I urge you to write to your Congressman and urge them to support this bill. Include any particular personal experiences you've had that shows this bill is needed.

Laura

Transgendered Teen Suicides

Sat, 21 May 2005 23:04:15 GMT

A trangendered teen starts off with two strikes against them. The overall suicide rate for transgendered pre-operative folk is estimated as high as 50%. The rate for teens aged 11 to 19 is 3 in 100,00 people. Combine the rates together and you can see a disturbing trend.

Why is transgendered teen suicide so high? There's one simple answer. Its called Puberty. While a normal teen certainly has a hazardous road with all the changes going on inside of them Transgendered kids have it far worse because their changes do not match their minds. Imagine how horrible it is to be a Female to Male (FTM) Transsexual teen growing breasts or the voice and muscle changes of a male to female (MTF). Couple that with a Transgendered teens tendancy to cut themselves and they are the star in their own Real Life Horror Movie.
http://lauras-playground.com/horror_films.htm

The real key in keeping these kids alive is being listened to by an adult. These kids are scared and alone. Yet who is going to confide in a parent or school counselor that is homophobic? It is critical that these kids get the help they need.

Transgendered Teens need to see a Gender Specialist.
http://lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm As soon as possible. Please don't wait. While childhood taunts are common Transgendered kids bear the brunt of it. With proper treatment most of them can live fairly normal lives. The trick is they have to make it this far first.

Laura Amato

Right Of The Minority

Sat, 21 May 2005 22:21:43 GMT

Ever notice that the moral majority seems to scream the loudest against rights? Guy Adams, 50, is a law enforcement officer in Illinois. He has written an article entitled "Coming To A Town Near You -- God Help Us". http://www.renewamerica.us/columns/adams/050420
In it he objects to Sexual Identity and Sexual Orientation Laws that would protect Homomsexuals and Transgendered people. "Do these gay activists seek to strong-arm traditional institutions such as the Boy Scouts, the YMCA, and other faith based institutions, compelling them to hire people whose behavior they adamantly disagree with? Yep. That's the hidden purpose of these laws. And it gets worse. Would you want your young children to have transsexuals or cross-dressers in positions of authority"? O Horrors.

Of course Adams assumes as do most of the majority that it is nurture and not nature that gives LGBT folks their behavior. After all if it were nature they'd have to stop blaming us for the immorality in their own society.Even when that answer stares them in the face they will never admit it. Its far easier to deny us rights because we are different and born different.

"Gay rights activists equate gay rights with civil rights. It's not the same at all. Civil rights activists rightly sought to overturn a serious wrong � the plight of a people who were oppressed and discriminated against because of the color of their skin. Skin color is something they could do nothing about, and is not inherently good or bad. Gay "rights," on the other hand, is about BEHAVIOR. When a man puts on a woman's dress, it's a choice � it's a behavior".

Sorry Guy but its not a behavior or lifestyle choice. We are born with it. Like it or not. So can we please have our rights now. If you haven't noticed we are oppressed and we are discriminated against. What you don't see Guy is your own behavior and that of your good ol' boys that create our problems. If you don't want a law that protects us its really simple. Stop your behavior Guy. Stop the taunts and the finger pointing and stop teaching your children to hate us. You have to be insane to think that we would really pick this life if given a real choice. Who would pick this?

Laura Amato

Transsexuals Under Attack

Sat, 21 May 2005 20:59:23 GMT

Commentary is relativly easy to write. Add your opinion no matter how outragous and find a high ranking source that agrees with you and voila your an author. You have your source so you've proved your point, or have you?

Transsexuals have long been controversial subjects. They can't understand us and apparantly we can't speak for ourselves so they must do it for us. Apparantly the moral majority bouyied by recent electoral victories feel they have earned the right to speak for us. Dale O'Leary is a writer, pro-family activist and educator living in Rhode Island. Her e-mail address is daleoleary@thefactis.org. Dale is so concerned about Transsexuals that she wants the world to stop us from mutilating ourselves. http://www.thefactis.org/default.aspx?control=ArticleMaster&aid=111&authid=7
The article that O'Leary quotes is from Dr. Paul Hughs who discontinued the gender program at John Hopkins University. http://www.firstthings.com/ftissues/ft0411/articles/mchugh.htm

Its easy to see that Hughs was never a fan of transsexual surgery (SRS). I remember the newscast well when the announcement was made. He mentioned two personal comments that were not in his report. "Transsexuals wore too much makeup and dressed flamboyantly and that he was "tired of turning out sex workers". Of course he didn't fault his program for having no classes on good grooming.

I know a great many postop transsexuals. All are well groomed and are living stealth in Society and they are not sex workers. Of course I'm sure there are sex workers which I haven't met. Are they outnumbering females in the same industry? Of course not. The motivation is the same as born women working the streets, money.

Almost all Transsexuals who have had surgery have been under medical supervision follow the HBIGDA Standards of care by Dr. Harry Benjamin. http://www.hbigda.org/soc.cfm
Doctors pride themselves on the appearance and functionality of their work.

Miss O'Leary says "Male transsexuals - men who think they are women, whether or not they have had surgery to create the illusion of a woman's body - have always struck me as tragic caricatures of women". Someone needs to inform this wonan of the medical facts. If you have an outie, or prong you are Male. If you have an innie or receptacle you are female. Its that simple. After surgery a male to female Transsexual is a functional female whether she likes it or not. In a lineup of female genetalia even Miss O'leary could not tell the difference. So sorry Miss O'Leary calling us names won't ever change the real facts.

Laura

Just Hold it.

Tue, 10 May 2005 23:12:22 GMT

Well it looks like the bathroom issue won't just go away. If you thought the Transsexual bathroom issue was just about drag Queens and Pre-ops guess again. http://www.kfor.com/Global/story.asp?S=3324243

Mary Ann Obuch who is a post-op Transsexual has been told by her Pastor to use an empty rest room way on the other side of the building. Why? So she won't offend other people. Anyway I decided to go to the source right to the Bible itself. Well ok it wasn't the print version but it was a searchable bible. Guess what. Nowhere does it say that Transsexuals have to use a certain bathroom. Nor does it forbid Transsexuals from using the facilities. My God! What are we suppossed to do, Hold it?

Do you get the feeling we're not being treated like regular people? What's worse is that the press makes the issue bigger than it is. The reporter Brad Edwards refuses to acknowlege that Mary Ann is now female by using male pronouns to describe her. Who says the Press isn't prejudiced. Certainly Blake Edwards is.

"Just a year ago church members knew him as Milton Obuch, a married man with children. Now he is Mary Ann Obuch. She is divorced but still a church member of the Victory Christian Center.
Mary Ann Claims he told the ministry what he was going to do. Milton said he always had a female mind, but finally had his body changed to match it. He had a sex change operation".

Mary Anns Response: "I would just like them to basically tell all the ladies at victory. He is not a he no more. She's a she. I'm entitled to use the restroom of the females and or the ladies restroom," Obuch says".

I believe God gave us urinary tracts for a reason. It certainly wasn't meant for us to hold it til our eyes water. If Blake Edwards had his way we'd all be exiled to a forest in Siberia where we could squat behind a tree. Unless he objects to that too.

TRANNY TOILET TROUBLE http://www.nypost.com/postopinion/letters/44874.htm
Trans rights go down the toilet http://www.washblade.com/2005/4-8/view/columns/business.cfm

Laura

Studies on Transgendered Folk

Wed, 27 Apr 2005 02:15:11 GMT

Have you ever noticed how few studies and research have been done on Transgendered Folk? There are tons of studies done on most minority groups. So many government grants seem available to everyone else. What about us? If the elderly suddenly had a 50% suicide rate millions of dollars in grant money would be available yesterday.

There's actually a good reason for that. While we seem to be the topic of hot discussion and the butt of numerous jokes and ridicule we do have one strike against us. The word TransSEXual has a bad word in it As long as the hateful religious right controls the White House don't hold your breath waiting for compassion or research.

People don't see us as having a gender problem. They see us as the un-ladylike characters we're portrayed as on the Springer Show. Most don't even know that there is a Female to Male version of us.

The only support we're going to get is by supporting each other.

Laura

Vulnerability revisited

Mon, 25 Apr 2005 00:48:33 GMT

As a 56 year old Male to female Transsexual, I've fought my share of demons. I've had lifetime of clinical depression and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to deal with along with Gender Dysphoria. This of course on top of several natural and unnatural disasters. Things had been better of late, my demons conquered, my psyche under control with anti-depressants. I couldn't have been happier.

Its so strange that we seem to be so vulnerable around our birthdays. A simple read of the obituaries will reveal how many have died on or around their birthday's. Are we more susceptable to harm or illness around that day or is it merely co-incidence? We do tend to examine our lives more closely that day. Does our Kharmic energy catch up to us on the anniversary of our birth and either reward or pay us back for the entire year? Sometimes it seems so.

Here I was, perfectly happy when a few small incidents and one huge one happened all at once. Suddenly I was in a deep depression. How can that be if I'm on anti-depressants? Suddenly I realized that I'm more vulnerable than I thought.

The site was hacked. Why anyone would hack a support site is beyond me. The world seems so full of hate sometimes. At least things are back to normal now. The good news is that I've discovered just how close knit our community is. I've been swamped with offers of support, both moral and offers to help with the new Apache server. Suddenly I'm not depressed any more. Maybe my Kharma is better than I thought it was. Thanks to all of you from the bottom of my heart.

Laura

Transgendered: Hiding in the Dark

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 02:24:29 GMT

Being transgendered is often a lonley quest. Many of us live in fear of being discovered or sharing our true selves with our family and friends. One main reason of course is fear of bodily harm or the dejavous of reliving the taunts we suffered as children.

While I recieve a lot of mail on the subject I was surprised to learn that out of the last 200 letters that its not only Crossdressers who are in the closet but Transsexuals in Transition living the Real Life Test.
Over 70% of respondents are living at least partially obscured lives literally hiding from the outside world, venturing out only when necessary.

We would expect that by having Gender Reassignment Surgery and becoming one person would help us to come out not remain hidden. Life is meant to be lived not spent hiding in the dark.

http://lauras-playground.com/hiding_dark.htm

Yes But can you do it without the Dress

Fri, 18 Mar 2005 00:12:39 GMT

I don't know if I'm the typical Male to female Transsexual in Transistion or not. I do know that a lot of us have a lot of resntment for that male body that keeps us in prison for much of our lives. Who can blame us. Still part of that male psyche seems like excess baggage. In my case I rejected the entire set of luggage.

All psychologically healthy people have a balance of the male and female. Yet here I was rejecting everything male about me even though some of those parts were useful. As I started to transition on my way to becoming a complete female I forgot something in my other pants. After all I wore a dress now. Who needs pockets when you have a purse.

Recently I had a mini crisis, as all of us do. Suddenly I realized that I left my problem solving ability and a few other things behind. I started thinking about it and discovered that the problem solving ability was mine. I built it and I devleoped it and I forgot to take it with me. It was valuable, like fogetting A $100.oo Bill in your old wallet.

So I got it back and I can solve problems again. Now all I've got to do is figure out if I can keep my balance whether I'm wearing the dress or not.

http://lauras-playground.com/without_dress.htm

Laura

A long way to go

Sun, 27 Feb 2005 05:11:07 GMT

Information is suppossed to set things straight. It should promote understanding of controversial issues. When Information is mixed with assumptions though, it doesn't always do its job. As transsexuals we are a misunderstood bunch. Information that its not about sex or orientation seems to fall on deaf ears sometimes. People still would rather listen to Jerry Springer than listen to us.

If I were to do a Man on the street spot asking people about Transsexuals what do you think they'd say? How many facts do you think people are aware of? Probably none. Really, with all that information out there. How can they not understand. Its just easier to think the popular view about us even though its not factual. Sometimes people are like sheep.

Over the last few days I received 3 letters from the same IP adress but different Yahoo e-mails. What was striking is that all three repeated the same thing over and over. They basicaly said that he was turning gay and gave great detail about sexual activities in language that would make a drill instructor blush. His first assumption seemed to be that all Transsexuals were gay and that all they were intrested in was hot steamy sex with him of course. He wrote all three letters with the same theme and phrases. I reported the mail to my ISP and yahoo mail.

I was amazed at his ignorance. Obviously he had been to the site but didn't happen to read anything.
Despite all the education we try to give, People just aren't going to change their minds about us.

If you're transitioning and you've had to tell friends family and co-workers You know what I mean. Usually the first question out of somebody's mouth is usually are you gay? That's the number 1 answer. Clearly we still have a long way to go before someone finally understands us.

Laura

Valentines Day

Sun, 20 Feb 2005 06:28:50 GMT

Valentines Day was wonderful for me. My (S.O.) Significant Other (GG) Genetic Girl got me a beautiful Boquet of Roses and a heart Shaped Box of Chocolates. Wow! I think I've been waiting for that all of my life. Of course I did the same for her. Two Valentines Day boquets in the same room, Smells great in here. Of course I can't say enough good things about this woman. If not for her I wouldn't be as far along as I am.

Good Support is hard to find especially if you're Transgendered. So if you're struggling by yourself how do you build a support network? Its essential to your well being that you do. To Start with Join a group. Here's a list of groups: http://lauras-playground.com/trans_support_groups.htm This is a great place to make friends who can actually understand you. Find one near you.

Join a Transgender forum. To introduce yourself post or just ask questions. After a while you establish a presense and will start making friends. http://www.xsorbit2.com/users/laurasplayground/index.cgi

Then Try a great Transgender chat room http://lauras-playground.com/chat.htm . Eventually you'll be well known in the community. As my male self my total lifetime number of friends could be counted on one hand. In the Community as Laura I have loads of friends and most are good ones too. So get busy on that keyboard. Support is out there but the first move is up to you.

Laura

Don't welch on a Witch Doctor

Mon, 14 Feb 2005 02:19:26 GMT

I've heard a lot of reasons for being transgendered but I'll bet you haven't heard this one.

The New York Times reported that one of Zimbabwe's leading female track stars is, in fact, a man.
" Samukeliso Sithole, the athlete in question, attempted to clear up the whole misunderstanding in court this week. Sithole said he had been born with both male and female genitals. His parents took him to a "traditional healer" who prescribed a mix of herbs that caused his male organs to disappear entirely. Sithole also said, however, that when his parents didn't pay the entire bill, the healer "caused the male genitals to spontaneously grow back as punishment."

So when Sithole was checked in the genital area he was heard to remark " MY God Where Did Those come from." Think about it all his life he was brought up a girl. SHe Washed clothes with all the other girls on the local washing rock down at the river. SHe cooked, cleaned, farmed and cleaned up after the local water Buffalo like all the other women. She dated the local stud-muffins who all claim to have had a piece of Ms. Sithole as local boys usually do. She trained hard as a female runner and became the fastest woman in her village.

Then on the day of the Big race a Local Witch Doctor whispers into the judges ear, "Check her shorts". So he did. Boy were they surprised, especially Sithole who said, " but .... but .. they weren't there this morning".

So if you happen to meet a good fairy or a magical elf who sprinkeles some magic dust on your genitals and chest and makes your wildest dreams come true be sure to pay the bill. Fairies, elves and witch doctors have to eat too.

http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050213/SPT/502130400/1062/SPT

Laura

Alternatives to Surgery 2

Sun, 13 Feb 2005 01:44:15 GMT

It could happen to you. One minute your cruising through your transition setting aside every challenge and the next you're brought to a screeching halt. It could be health problems, financial, family related or even legal. In my case I had to stop hormones because of health.

Fortunately my Gender counselor quickly through a cable around me and kept me from sliding back into depression. He helped me develop a plan to salvage my transition. I was still living as a woman, But I had stopped going out of my house. I was effectivley withdrawing into a shell. I started getting depressed.

Then my shrink tried one of those psychological tricks on me. He said OK Laura so if you feel you're transition is over then there's no sense in living as a woman at home then. Go back to living as a man like before. It made sense so I didn't think about it.

I lasted about two days. It was then it dawned on me. The most important part of the Transisiton wasn't the hormones after all. The calm and peace I felt was from Cross-living. There was no reason to stop transitioning. Don't you hate it when someone tries to teach you a lesson and does? Darned Shrink.

So My counselor and I sat down and hashed out the rest of the transition after we stopped laughing. I learned that there are a lot of people who just cross-live and find it satisfying. I've even met some, both in letters and in person.

Well, I still haven't given up on hormones or SRS. My Orchiectomy should happen soon since its a local anethstetic. The best part is getting to feel as good as I do everyday as a woman. Now my biggest goal is to get out and about more as Laura and let people find out what a dynamite woman she really is.

Laura

Alternatives to Surgery

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 18:39:25 GMT

Years ago when I first started researching the internet on Transsexuals I noticed that the ONLY treatment available was surgery. Even the Old Harry Benjamin standards of care didn't adress treatment for those who for some reason could not go under the knife.

It struck me as odd that there were no alternatives, I mean almost every treatment in medicine has another way if the peferred method can not be used. Do those who can't undergo surgery have any less emotional pain and suffering? Wouldn't there really be even more for a transsexual who really wanted surgery but found his/her only door shut.

Why wouldn't someone be able to have surgery? What about money, health or family concerns, or even job concerns. Is a father with young children any less of a Transsexual because he is responsible enough to put his children first? What about someone in a 30 year marraige, or a person with heart or lung disease. Is there Pain any less real? Of course not, but these people will continue to suffer nevertheless.

Not one study has been ever done on these non-ops because there's just no money in it. No surgery, medical tests, operating fees or hospital stays. They're just out of luck. Well that's not entirely so. There is another way for those who temporarily or permanantly cannot get surgery.

As a pre-op I was on herbal hormones for a while. Eventually I was pescribed real hormones. Six months later I had a blood clot so the hormones were stopped. In the last few year on top of being a paraplegic in a wheelchair I've had one stroke, 2 heart attacks, Post-Polio, Emphsema, OPCD and a Blood disorder. There's a real possibility I will be back on hormones but is it really likely that a doctor would operate if I can't tolerate general anethstesia? Meanwhile I'm still suffering from Transsexuality.

Fortunatley with my therapist I did come up with an alternative plan that really works. More on my personal saga tommorrow but for now read this article I wrote on alternatives. Alternatives to SRS
http://lauras-playground.com/alt_surgery.htm

Laura

Part two of is your Brain m or f

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 04:03:01 GMT

Yesterday I gave you all the links to search papers done on this topic.

One thing is for sure Men and women think and process information differently. Often they'll come to different conclusions based on the same information. Women seem to use both halves of their brain while men seem to use one half. This was discovered while checking the sexes to see why strokes were more devastating to men than to women. This doesn't neceaarily mean that women are smarter, just different. Besides there are advantages to thinking things through on a purely logical level then with logic plus emotions. It just depends on what problem you're solving.

So what does this have to do with Transsexuals and Transgendered Folk? Plenty. A female to male transsexual thinks like a man. A male to female one thinks like a women. The rest of the spectrum such as crossdressers or transgendered are on a sliding scale somewhere in between. Add male or female hormones to that mix and the brain changes even futher. After all are you your brain, your body or your soul? Think about that a bit. What defines you as you? Each group might say something different. A transsexual for instance might leave out the present body all together while a crossdresser might not.

Heres a couple of interesting tests. The first one is an empathy quotient test on which women normally score higher. http://www.guardian.co.uk/life/flash/page/0,13249,937836,00.html and the sytemic quotient test on which men often score higher http://www.guardian.co.uk/life/flash/page/0,13249,937835,00.html . If after your done you're confused try this Gender test: http://web.archive.org/web/20030604112140/transsexual.org/Ttestpages1.html
These tests of course are just a guide to see if you fit more in the male or female mode or somewhere in between. At the very least it might put things in perspective for you.

Laura